Respect and parenting

In this new century, is hard to find a child that respects his or her own parent. But what's more is that even parent do not respect their own child decision and control what their future will be. We as a child, we are taught to respect our parent in all occasion and I agree with this teaching. But what is respect and what is the level of control that a parent should be?

Respect is not just about to acknowledge someone with value but respect is a kind of attitude that is able to help us in building good relationships. At the same time, respect is also a peace-builder. We often learn during our childhood that we must respect someone that is elder, famous, country, parent and etc. But do we adult learned that we must also respect the child in order to build the attitude of respect in the child?

Nowadays, we often see children disobey their parent overly requests. It may be due to the education system, the culture around them and last but not least, overly controlled parent. In order to let a child to fully utilized their abilities, parent should let them choose or respect their child's decision on what they wish to learn and not keep on registering them into all kinds of activities without bothering the child's feelings. A 4 year old kid has their feelings too but they just don't dare to show it out as they knew that parent will definitely hit them with a cane or ruler. But does a parent understand and listen to them?

Most of the parents outside always thinks that they are doing the right thing all the time and do not willing to accept any other advices on parentings. And it may also due to the 'kia-su'-ness in their attitude. They tend to compare their own child and others on all kinds of activities including their child's results. Some parents do not even praise their child for doing great but instead scolding them for not studying to score top! When the child grew up, if she has a bf, the parent will compare with others on how handsome the bf is like, the car he drove. If the choice doesn't meet the parent's requirement on outlook, they will tend to disrespect that person and exclude that person in all occasion. But is this the way a parent should be? And do they know that they are showing the negative attitudes to the child?

A child is not born to be a slave neither a thing to be compared with! A child is born for you parents out there to educate that them and inject them with joy and love. If a parent keep on control their child and setting all the path for the child, the child will eventually fail in his life as he or she is not able to make full use of their own talents. However, I do agree that parent should lay the first few path for their child but not ALL! For example, helping their own daughter to decide on who to marry with. Only the daughter will know who is best for her. But why do parents love to get involve in this?

Love cannot be forced, relationship cannot be forced too. The parents should let their own children to choose for the right one and parents will be by the side to support them and make sure the right one has good attitudes. Afterall, child is the one who gets married and not the parent. At the same time, parent should not force a child to end a relationship without any valid reason. Try to think from your children's perspective before you make any move.

And of course, RESPECT is the most important thing that all of us should learn. Without respect, our world will fall apart. Same goes to families, if there's no respect in between family members, the family will break in to parts. So, parents... try to understand your child more and guide them in a positive way of life.